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This is where my earlier comment from lounge comes in
5:19 AM
When a loved one dies, you're naturally going to be sad. Emotional pain. But sadness doesn't become unhappiness unless there's an added layer of "I should have spent more time with them, I'm too sad, I'm not sad enough" etc
What's meant by "worries and anxiety" is pointlessly obsessing about the future, fantasizing about bad things that could happen, etc
5:24 AM
knowing something in relation to your identity is wrong
This description suggests that the "identity" is what causes unhappiness (including worries and anxiety), but again, words are tricky, "identity" in this context means something very specific
"Identity" in the sense of being a "doer" entity that is completely separate from life and uninfluenced by life, which is described as the misperception that causes all suffering
5:26 AM
To not realize you're a component of life, in each moment functioning in the only way you can
This is not a prescription telling you how to live
5:28 AM
It doesn't say "you shouldn't be bothered", it says "the uncomfortableness with how life unfolds can fall away when certain things click"
5:30 AM
When it says "your attachment to outcomes can fall away", it doesn't mean that your ambition or your enthusiasm fall away
5:31 AM
"Attachment to outcomes" really just means the belief that "pain takes away from my completeness, and my happiness is to be found some day in pleasant future circumstance"
The thing is, this is a description of what is potentially available in theory. It's a spiritual teaching that people usually come across after already having had certain realizations, such as "pleasure has never resulted in sustainable happiness"
5:34 AM
But yes, the "end goal" (for lack of a better word) is unbroken peace of mind
5:34 AM
Because circumstance was never what got in the way of peace of mind in the first place
5:35 AM
The only thing that "gets in the way" of peace of mind is a belief system about who we are
Keep in mind it's not intended as a truth. These concepts are pointers to weigh against our own experience. If you've experienced sustainable happiness through pleasure, or if you have a belief that sustainable happiness is impossible, this framework can't be true
I'll say it with the words of this description because I can't find any better words for it
5:45 AM
I'll give real-life examples afterwards
5:46 AM
The belief that I could and should have acted differently in the past, so I'm a failure; the belief that other people could and should have acted differently, so I have to hate them; the belief that life needs to turn out according to my expectations, otherwise I'll be unhappy and incomplete
This description says (and the reason I buy it is because I can tell from watching and listening to my teacher that he's not bullshitting) that even after guilt, regrets and expectations fall away, we still function normally, learning from painful experiences, being changed by new conditioning life delivers, acting according to our preferences, including our ambitions, talents, etc(edited)
5:53 AM
You can learn from painful experiences even when there is no more fiction about "this should never have happened"
That's literally how I look at it basically @Deleted User . I allow myself to beat myself up, but try not to do so behind the point which it serves as a good motivator.
As an example:
"Wow, I really fucked up. I can do better than this, I was being careless and didn't think it through/try hard enough." = Good.
"Wow, I really fucked this up and I am a failure and I am never going to do better because I'm weak/stupid." = Bad.
Suffering is useful, it's suffering uselessly that is bad. And you maybe even should beat yourself up about beating yourself up in pointless ways.
Everything in moderation my friend. Most things can be put to good use and also applied to excess or used in the wrong situations.
"Wow, I really fucked up. I can do better than this, I was being careless and didn't think it through/try hard enough."
This is sort of "too vague" to classify as suffering or not (whereas the second example clearly is). It's only suffering if there's an uncomfortableness, resulting from the fiction that "I could have prevented this because I'm the one who makes life happen, and I should have prevented it based on how I expect myself to function". The sentence I quoted only says "I can do better in the future", which is not necessarily suffering
That's when the subconscious starts talking to the conscious lol
6:03 AM
Asking Wtf just happened
6:04 AM
Put simply, the subconscious is constantly on lookout for anything that breaks pattern
6:05 AM
When you reach into your pocket after leaving some place for your phone or keys and your hand feels nothing, you'll feel whats wrong- before you even think it(edited)
Everything in moderation my friend. Most things can be put to good use and also applied to excess or used in the wrong situations.
As I keep saying, if where you're at works for you, great!, this description isn't meant for you. But I can only reiterate that if you actually talk/watch/listen to people who report an experience that's completely free from "suffering" or "fiction", they will tell you that they're still functioning as a normal human being, learning from mistakes, saying sorry if they hurt someone, etc. They will tell you from experience that suffering isn't necessary to function normally, and in fact your intellect becomes more efficient when the fictitious story falls away
6:07 AM
Beating yourself up is not necessary to learn from your mistakes
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